Wanting What You Can't Have
by PyroLegacy
Summary: Agent Hotchner brings in a young agent to help with the case load. What he doesn't realize is someone else from his past is watching her and will do anything to destroy any happiness in his life. Rated for suggestive themes, violence. Hotch/OC, Foyet/OC
1. Chapter 1

First Criminal Minds story... Don't know where it came from or what I'm doing with it but here you go. This IS M rated. There are some themes some people won't approve of, I'll keep it mild but if you can watch the show and love it, then you can read a story with some graphic details. There is an OC, she's my creation other than that I don't own any part of Criminal Minds. I'll try to keep them all in character as much as possible.

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><p>Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner looked out of his office at their newest agent, a young woman no older than twenty four. She was the best in her field though and Rossi and he had made the decision together to bring in another person on their team. Morgan and Prentiss warmed up to her right away and she was immediately accepted. Unfortunately she came in at the worst time. Foyet was still missing and that was their number one case. He had given her every bit of information the others had and ordered her to learn it all within two days. So she had. Spencer had been impressed with her ability to retain information. He had grilled her hard on the case and she knew every bit of Foyet.<p>

Hotch was sure he made the right choice with Agent Alex Holmes. Admittedly, he had looked at her last name and thought of the famous fictional Sherlock Holmes. Her resume was just as interesting too. She had worked in jails, police departments, juvenile detentions, everything. Hotch had interviewed her himself and had found that he liked her from moment one. She was a young version of him joining the FBI. She was extremely serious in the interview but he had watched her outside of the FBI building, not at home but out with friends and she was extremely responsible yet knew how to have fun too. If everyone was drinking, she didn't. She drove everyone around without a complaint and took one for the team. Hotch needed that reliability that he expected from his veteran members. He had gone to her apartment personally and hired her, asking her to start that day. She had kept a cool persona but he kept smiling and finally she broke into a grin and shook his hand and showed her excitement. She went into work with him that day and began working on the Reaper case immediately.

They worked other cases and though Holmes was new, she was very good. She made the same mistakes everyone else did and enjoyed figuring out a case or two herself. Over a year had past and still the Reaper case was unsolved. Hotch was glad he added another member to the team because Foyet had already gotten to too many team members. Who knew who else he would get to?

I, George Foyet am a simple man. I really am. All that fucking FBI agent had to do was stop hunting me and I would've stopped killing. But no, Agent Hotchner had to do the right thing, be noble, be the hero. What he didn't realize was I was making sure they would never want to hunt me again. First, I had almost killed that Derek Morgan. I scared the living hell out of that Prentiss. Reid I wouldn't be able to do much to; the kid was too smart and had been tortured before. Rossi wasn't fun enough to mess with. That left Hotchner and Holmes. Holmes interested me like no other. She was so young yet the more I watched her, the more fascinated I became. I didn't want to destroy her or torture her. I didn't want to kill her. I wanted to use her though. I wanted to break her.

I followed Agent Holmes outside of work. I learned her habits, I learned about her friends, and I learned most importantly, where she slept. Alone. No boyfriend, no husband, and to my utter delight, no roommate. It was the best set up ever. She didn't suspect a thing. If she noticed me following her, she didn't show any sign of it. Just like the others. They called themselves special agents. They got the special part right. Though as I watched Agent Holmes more and more I started to appreciate her. She fit in to two different worlds perfectly, unlike the other agents. Holmes had two lives. At work she thrived, had friends, got along with everyone including the bosses. At home she had a multitude of friends, was out every night with them. I was itching to get in there and tear her apart.

I stood on the fire escape in the dark shadows of a building, looking out across the street. Alex Holmes was, for the first time in three weeks, sitting on the couch sipping a cup of tea watching an action movie. She was wearing very soft looking grey flannel pants and a form fitting black tank top. Her normal night wear. She put her cup of tea down and stretched, her breasts pushing out. I felt my pants tighten and smirked in the shadows. It was almost time.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay so I apologize for not having a break in the story between Hotch and Foyet's thinking. I haven't used fanfiction in a long time and forgot lines :( I shall pay more attention to line breaks this time!

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><p>Alex stretched hard and moaned softly, running her hand over her neck. Work had been stressful with a new case. She hadn't actually been home in four days. A young girl had been murdered and Reid had made a connection between the victims. Morgan made the connection between the victims and the suspect and Alex made the arrest. It was a great case to close. Because of the time she returned though she didn't go out with her friends. They had tried to get her out, being that it was Saturday night, but she just wanted to watch a movie and go to bed.<p>

When the movie was over Alex turned the lights out and took her cup back into the kitchen. As she was walking back through the dark living room she stilled and looked at the door. It was closed and locked, like she always kept it, but for some reason her heart rate spiked and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She cursed when she realized her gun was in her bedroom on the other side of the apartment. She put myself up against the wall and looked around, trying to see in the dark room. She heard footsteps to her left and turned, swallowing hard as a tall shadow moved. She heard a deep chuckle that made her heart drop.

"Well, well. Agent Hotchner's newest Agent lives alone and doesn't have the common sense to keep her gun or phone near. So sad." He stepped out into the light from the street and her eyes widened in horror. She started backing away slowly, trying to get into any room with a weapon.

"Foyet." she said quietly. His grin widened and he walked closer.

"Of course Agent Hotchner would tell you all about me. Did he forget to mention I stalk and hunt? It's kind of a signature for me. I find what I want and take it. And you my dear, are what I want." Alex glared through her fear.

"You'll have to kill me to get anything from me Foyet."

"Actually I really don't." He walked closer and she flinched away as he brought his hand up.

"Try it Foyet. I won't go down without a fight."

"Oh I don't doubt that Alex. In fact I was planning on a good fight. Unfortunately for you, you have already lost the fight." Alex looked around and didn't want to admit that he was right. She was in a corner farthest away from the door and her bedroom. Foyet walked closer and smiled but she wasn't comforted at all.

"What do you want Foyet?"

"I already told you. I want you."

"Why?" He stepped closer.

"Because I've been watching you for weeks. I've been learning about you for months. I'm… interested." She swallowed hard as he moved closer and brought his hand up, lightly touching her throat. Training wasn't kicking in like it should have and she was frozen.

"Such a new agent. Still a rookie. Training not working for you? It didn't work for Hotchner either at first I'm sure. See this is one reason I targeted you. I knew you would be the easiest. Of course if you hadn't gone out with friends every night I would've come for you earlier. Would've saved you." Her eyes widened slightly in horror.

"You've been in here before."

"Oh yes. Have you ever woken up with a feeling that you're being watched?" She looked in his eyes with a furrowed brow.

"Yes…"

"Have you ever noticed something moved from its proper place? Or felt something touch you when there's nothing there?" Her body began to shake as his finger ran down her throat, over her shoulder before resting on her arm, his thumb rubbing up and down lightly, making her shiver. He moved closer, his mouth near her throat. She swallowed and tried to stop the tremors that were coursing through her.

"Answer me." Alex gasped as he nipped at her throat.

"Y… Yes!"

"I'm going to make sure you always think of me when you have those feelings. If you even last that long." Foyet moved suddenly, his head smacking into hers hard. She went down hard and her vision blurred. Alex groaned and looked up from her curled up position on the floor. Foyet smiled down at her, his eyes wide with glee. The last thing she saw was his boot in the air coming towards her face before a burst of pain caused her to pass out.

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><p>Hotch walked into work with the same stern expression he always wore. He looked around, seeing Reid reading a case file, Prentiss sitting on Morgan's desk talking to him, and an empty desk.<p>

"Where's Holmes?" Morgan looked up.

"No one's heard from her today. Maybe she's sick?"

"She doesn't get sick. And she doesn't skip. Has anyone called her?" Morgan pulled out his phone and called her. After a few moments he pulled the phone away and shook his head.

"Her phone's off."

"Has anyone been in contact with her this weekend since we returned?" Everyone shook their head. Rossi walked out of his office and looked around in confusion.

"What's going on?"

"No one's heard from Holmes since we got back from New York. She's not here." Rossi looked at Hotch.

"Well let's swing by her apartment before we come to any rash conclusions." Hotch nodded once and turned back towards the door.

Rossi and Hotch arrived at Holmes' apartment and knocked a few times, listening. When no one answered the door Hotch nodded at Rossi as he pulled out his gun. Rossi tried the door and found it open, very unusual for any of them. Rossi went in first, moving past the bare living room and over to the kitchen as Hotch went the other direction. Hotch cleared the hallway and bathroom before coming to the bedroom. He walked in cautiously and looked around, seeing the made bed, the clean floor, but most of all, and scariest of all, the gun lying next to a badge on the nightstand.

"Rossi!" He heard the other man walk in and move past him to the bed where he just noticed a note laying.

"It says 'I win again.' Hotch look at the handwriting." Hotch took the note and his eyes widened slightly when he saw the Eye of Providence and the words.

"Foyet. He has her." Hotch looked up at Rossi to see the concern in his eyes.

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><p>Hope that was better! R&amp;R please!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Here's Chapter 3! Thanks for the reviews! This one is a teensy bit more graphic but not too graphic.

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><p>Nausea woke Alex up first. Her head was pounding and her face was tight with pain. She whimpered and cracked an eye open, trying to focus on something, anything. The room was dark but not too dark she couldn't see. She was in a bedroom, unfamiliar to her. She was on the bed on her side. She opened both eyes and held her stomach down, swallowing hard, before trying to sit up. When her arms, above her head, stopped her, she looked up and saw her hands tied to the bed posts. Alex almost panicked, trying to get her hands down.<p>

"Now, now, none of that." Alex stilled and looked over at the door. She blanched when Foyet walked in, turning the light on and walking over to a chair next to the bed and sitting down.

"What do you want with me Foyet?" He sat back and shrugged.

"I don't know. What do I want… what do I want… Well I want the FBI to stop hunting me. But your boss won't do that."

"Of course not. Agent Hotchner will never stop until you're behind bars." He chuckled darkly.

"Please. Don't be so naïve. He won't stop until I'm dead. Just like I won't stop until I know for sure Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner is broken. Torn apart. Dead or alive, I want him out of the picture. He cares for you. I've seen the way he looks at you. He wants you to succeed. He wants you to be the best."

"You're… after me because he wants me to succeed? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Foyet chuckled roughly.

"I didn't capture you for that. True, destroying you will destroy him. But you became interesting to me. See you and I are very alike."

"I'm not a deranged Ephebophile that gets off killing defenseless women. You're fucking sick." Foyet smiled.

"Such a lady you are. If you continue to interrupt me I'll gag you." Alex stilled and closed her mouth with a glare.

"Now as I was saying. You and I are alike. Both of us lead two different lives. One life, our work life, and our real world life. None of your friends know what you do, other than law enforcement. Your work friends, Morgan and Reid, don't know you like to go out and party. Go to clubs."

"And your friends didn't know you liked to rape and murder young couples just to get your rocks off." He closed his mouth and stared at her. She looked away with a huff.

"You were asking for that." It was quiet for a long time before he began to chuckle softly.

"I guess I do deserve that. Though the younger girls do appeal to me I am beginning to have a different taste in women… A little older." She looked back over and watched his hand rest just above his groin. She paled at the implication, her stomach flipping at the idea.

"Foyet you can't be-"

"I assure you I am. And I assure you by the end of your stay with me, if I decide to let you leave that is, you will want me in return." Her eyes widened as bile rose in her throat. She forced it down and looked away, her eyes filling with tears.

"Please Foyet-"

"Don't give me that bullshit Alex. I don't want to hear any begging, unless it's for more of what I'm going to do to you. No crying, once again, unless it's for more." She bit her lip and looked down at herself, noticing she was still fully clothes.

"Hotch will look for me."

"Oh I don't doubt it. In fact I hope he does. But I've made sure it will take them weeks at least. Maybe months. You will not be found any time soon. When he finds you, he won't be able to help you. I'll make sure of that." He stood and put his hands on either side of her body. She flinched back as he dipped his head down, his nose next to hers, his mouth millimeters from his own.

"Are you scared yet?" he whispered harshly. She wanted to head butt him, kick him, bite him, something, but instead she was frozen under him, her mouth slightly parted. She was scared out of her mind but refused to show him, her brow furrowing into a glare and her lip curling.

"Fuck. You." She bit out. He smiled widely and moved closer, forcing his lips on hers.

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><p>"We know George Foyet has Agent Holmes. What we don't know is where he has her or what he's planning on doing with her. He's never taken someone her age. His pathology is completely different. He's a serial killer. He kills for the thrill. You all know the way he thinks. We need to know what he's going to do and when." Aaron Hotchner was very solemn as he spoke to his team. Morgan looked the most upset but that made sense. He was the closest to Alex. Prentiss looked worried, Garcia about to cry. Reid looked worried but was keeping his emotions back.<p>

"What do we know about him? He likes young women, between fifteen and nineteen. He kills in pairs. Couples. He believes women are weak because his mother couldn't protect him and therefore no woman is strong enough to stand up to a man. He's a sociopath. He has to be in control. He will want her to think of him as her Alpha. He will want her to know how easily he could kill her." Rossi stated.

"He doesn't feel any pity or give mercy to any of his victims. Agent Holmes is the newest and therefore the most easily broken. "

"Why not just kill her in her apartment? He had the opportunity. No one saw her Saturday night or all day Sunday. He had time to kill her and leave a message. Why take her? What does she have to do with him?"

"This isn't about her." Hotch said quietly. Everyone stilled and looked at him.

"What is this about?"

"It's about me. He wants to get back at me. I brought Holmes in. I got her a chance in the FBI. I helped her start a life. Now he wants to get back at me by destroying what I helped create."

"Will he kill her?" Hotch sighed softly.

"I don't know. But he won't let her go unharmed. If we are too late, even if she is left alive, he will destroy her. She won't be the same person." Morgan and Hotch looked at each other and they knew they didn't have much time before they would lose the newest member of their team.

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><p>Alex held her tears back as Foyet moved against her. He hadn't taken either of their clothes off but it seemed he didn't feel any need to. He was completely on top of her, kissing any exposed skin. He knew so much about her; he knew exactly what would turn her on. She tried so hard not to like anything but he knew what he was doing. Fortunately she kept her mouth shut, the moans silenced in her head. He kept whispering to her how much he would make her like it. He had no clue how much she liked it already. She felt sick knowing a serial killer was touching her and wasn't trying to get away.<p>

Foyet jumped off unexpectedly and watched in excitement as Alex's body tried to follow him against her will.

"I knew it." Alex's eyes widened as he moved in again, straddling her waist. He began running his hand down her chest, over her abdomen. He hooked his fingers under her shirt and began pulling up exposing her stomach to him. His eyes widened slightly as he ran his hand over my smooth skin.

"Beautiful. So flawless." He reached into his pocket and Alex stiffened when he brought out a knife.

"Foyet no! Please Foyet!." He looked down, bringing the knife down slowly and running the blade over her skin. Alex flinched but it didn't cut her.

"I wouldn't hurt you Alex. Not just yet. You're too perfect for that." He brought the knife up to her shoulder and grabbed her tank top, sliding the knife over it. The thin material broke and Alex gasped as he did the same thing to the other side. He slit the shirt in half and pulled it away before laying the knife on the nightstand.

"This is what I wanted." She was completely bare to him and shivered as his hand rested between my breasts.

"Foyet-"

"Call me George or don't speak at all." He snarled. She looked up at his angry eyes in shock.

"George…" His anger dissipated immediately.

"Good girl." He moved his hand to cup her breast and she felt her breathing speed up, her heart rate spiking.

"George this isn't you." He stilled and looked at her in confusion.

"What do you mean this isn't me?"

"I'm not your type George. Why do this? It isn't you." His hand left her body but she knew not to feel any satisfaction from it.

"You're right. This isn't me. The real me… the old me would take satisfaction in watching you suffer. I would've used that knife on your flesh. Torn you apart. You know I'm in control. I can do whatever I want." Alex nodded softly.

"You can. Anything you want." Foyet looked back at her with a furrowed brow. She kept her face passive as he tried to deduce what game she was playing.

"I could kill you now. Or I could take you now."

"You are in full control George. I know that just as much as you do. You have all the power." He smiled softly.

"You understand. You are the first." Alex swallowed and gazed up at him.

"I've understood you from the beginning George. You just want Hotch to leave you to your life. You want to control your life. He's forcing you to control other people's lives." His smile widened.

"Yes. That's exactly what I want. You know me very-" he cut off and frowned, staring down at her. Alex kept her face passive but her heart was racing.

"Trying to appeal to me are you Agent Holmes? Think I'm stupid enough to fall for your little tricks?" Alex smirked despite her better judgment.

"It was working wasn't it?" His eyes turned to slits.

"If that's the way you want to play it." He grabbed her torn shirt and tore it up more, tying it together. When she realized he was making a gag she tried to buck him off of her. He was jarred for a moment before gaining his balance back, bringing his hand up to her neck and squeezing enough to make her still.

"You've brought this on yourself Holmes. I would've preferred to have your mouth open so I could make you scream. But now… Now I'm going to have to make you scream louder so I can hear through this." He put the gag over her mouth and her muffled noises filled the room as he moved down her body, pulling on her shoes and pants. She closed her eyes, forcing the tears back, and tried to block out what was about to happen to her.

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><p>And that's the end of this chapter! I like reviews. They make me want to post more!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Here's Chapter 4! Reiterating now that I do not own Criminal Minds, just this idea and Alex Holmes. Oh and I own Hotch in my dreams... but then I wake up :-/

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><p>Derek Morgan stared at the empty desk to his right, wondering how the hell he would find his friend. It had been a week since Agent Holmes went missing and they were no closer to finding her than the day they found out she had been kidnapped. He knew something horrible was happening to her with Foyet. George Foyet had had the chance to kill him once. He kept the bullet with him at all times as a reminder. Now, just like every day he sat at his desk and did nothing to help her, he held that bullet in his hand as he stared at the empty desk. He had tried everything to find her. Traffic cameras, witnesses, trace evidence in her apartment. Nothing. He was at the starting line of a race against time and was stuck, falling behind with every second that passed.<p>

Morgan had been skeptical when Hotch brought Agent Holmes in to their team. She was young, inexperienced with profiling. She had the credentials and the qualifications from the Academy. He had even been her trainer in defense tactics. He just knew his team well and bringing her in at that time was risky. He got to know her as a coworker instead of a trainee and quickly warmed up to her as their new family member. She was a brilliant woman, not quite up to Reid's smarts but she was better than most. She didn't flaunt it or talk about it either. She left work at work and home and home. He had gone out with the team for drinks once and she had stayed quiet the entire time. Ever since then he had tried to lighten her up, get her to laugh more. She fit in with the others when he finally succeeded. Even Garcia liked her and Garcia didn't like many women around him.

"Morgan stop staring and work on the report." He looked over his shoulder at the order passed down from his boss and nodded.

"Sorry Hotch. Just drifted off." Hotch nodded once with a sympathetic look.

"We'll find her Morgan. Don't start thinking we won't." Morgan looked at the desk and nodded.

"I won't think that for a second." Prentiss and Reid walked in with a case file and Morgan knew he was going to have to pay attention to another murder, missing person, or something equally _not _about Agent Alex Holmes.

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><p>Hotch watched Morgan turn and stand, walking over to Reid and Prentiss to discuss the new case. He had had a hard time not throwing away every case and focusing specifically on finding his agent but he knew life had to go on until they had another clue. Unfortunately that all depended on Foyet. Hotch knew that man more than anyone else did after studying his every move for years. It was over ten years ago when the case first presented itself and it was still as open presently as it was then. Hotch had spent ten years learning as much about the Reaper as he could so he knew what would happen next. When Foyet was ready, he'd give them a clue. Either to show she was dead already or to give them a chance to find her. Everything was up to Foyet and Hotch hated that with a passion. Hotch was the Alpha. He was in charge, not a serial killer. He wanted to be knocking down whatever door Foyet was hiding behind and save his agent and kill Foyet. Since they had nothing to go on though he knew they had to occupy themselves with something else to make sure they didn't lose sight of the bigger picture.<p>

"How is he handling it?" He glanced over and saw Rossi walk up and look down at their team.

"He's not doing well but he's hiding it better. I only catch him staring once a day now."

"That's better. Any news?" Hotch grimaced and stepped away from the rail, taking the conversation into his office so they would not be heard.

"Nothing. Foyet will contact when he's ready to make a deal or tell us where she is..." Rossi sat in the chair across from Hotch.

"You think he'll kill her?" Hotch met his gaze with a furrowed brow, shaking his head softly.

"It's hard to say. His profile would lead me to believe she's already dead and he's just running us in circles, keeping us worrying."

"True. I don't believe he would go through the trouble of kidnapping her just to kill her. He would've wanted to make a statement if he killed her. Leave her for us to find. It's just not like him." Hotch leaned forward and rested his chin on his hands.

"What's his profile tell you?" Hotch said dryly. Rossi sighed and stood, shrugging softly.

"Profiles can change Hotch. We may luck out with this one." Hotch sat back and watched Rossi walk out of the room. He wasn't sure if Foyet would let her go if she was still alive. That would be relinquishing his hold over Hotch and the FBI. He was too narcissistic and dominating to allow anyone else to win. Hotch knew Foyet would die before letting anyone else win.

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><p>This one was a bit shorter but I promise the next will be longer.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry about not updating, been extremely busy finishing about two semesters worth of work in 2 weeks! But hey, I did it and here's an update!

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><p>Alex pulled on the restraints, too weak to actually break free, but she really wasn't trying to. Foyet had made it perfectly clear what would happen if she tried to get out and Alex didn't want that treatment. Although it would probably be better to die than stand being with him again. Alex felt horrified the first time he slept with her. Not because it was Foyet, a serial killer. Not because it was an older man, a man that was attracted to underage teenagers at that. She felt horrified because he made sure she enjoyed every minute of it. He wasn't acting like his profile suggested at all anymore. He was gentle, when he wanted to be, and kind, probably false kindness, but he was extremely good at faking it if he wasn't sincere. He fed her generously, cared for the wounds he inflicted. He took care of her. It was scary to see him look at her with kindness instead of the satisfaction she had seen on the first day.<p>

Three weeks passed with the same thing every day. Foyet would wake Alex up, uncuff her so she could eat, use the restroom and shower, and then restrain her again. Alex was no longer fighting Foyet. She was no longer sick to her stomach if he kissed her or slept with her. She began responding to everything he did. It might have been what was saving her.

It was nine a.m. when Foyet opened the door and walked in, looking down at Alex with a frown.

"Your wrists are bleeding. You been trying to get out again?" Alex glanced up at her wrists and saw the redness she hadn't even known was there.

"No. I haven't done anything." He walked closer and slowly brought his hands to mine, messing with the handcuffs until her hands were free. Alex groaned in pain as she let her arms slowly fall to her sides. She didn't sit up because she knew he would take it as a sign of aggression, even if he knew she couldn't do anything. Instead Alex turned over and curled up, looking at her bleeding wrists.

"I'll get some bandages." He said quietly. She looked up at his conflicted expression but said nothing. He stood and walked into the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and opening a cabinet, pulling out bandages. He walked back over and sat on the bed next to her, the bed dipping slightly, making her body shift so she was against him. He began gently cleaning the wounds with the washcloth before wrapping the bandages around her wrists. It was at times where she was injured she saw a different side of Foyet. He was more than a serial killer with sociopathic tendencies, even though he hid it all. In reality he was just an Alpha male that wanted to care for someone that was dependent on him.

"George…" He looked down at Alex after he finished.

"What?" She looked away, looking down at her wrists.

"Thank you." He didn't acknowledge what she said but she saw his eyes flicker with a rare emotion. It was gone quickly though and he stood.

"You leave this bed and I'll make those cuts the least of your worries."

"No worries. Too tired." She mumbled as she laid back and closed her eyes. She heard the door close and sat up, looking around the dark room. It was definitely Foyet's room before he put her in it. It was almost bare, no pictures, but that made sense because he didn't have a family or friends. It was sort of sad to her. She had pictures all over her house of friends, family, coworkers. He had nothing.

Alex woke with a jolt, sitting up and looking around. It was the first time she had woken up without her arms tied up and she felt uncomfortable. The lights were on and she looked at the table next to her, surprised to see food and water. She slowly reached over and picked up the water, taking a sip.

"You act like I've poisoned everything." Alex looked up and wasn't shocked to see Foyet standing in the doorway. He had a habit of appearing out of nowhere and it stopped surprising her the more he did it.

"What do you expect?" She asked quietly. He raised a brow and folded his arms, leaning against the doorframe.

"If I wanted to kill you I would've done it by now." He pointed out.

"And yet I know you George. You will kill me when you will get the recognition for it. You don't have the audience you need." He walked forward and shrugged.

"Maybe. Can you honestly say I am the profile your team created?" Alex looked at the bed.

"You're doing all of this to prove a point?"

"Not necessarily. Maybe I'm bored." Alex laid back and sighed.

"God can't you just be straight with me Foyet?" He stood over her with a grin, his arms folded over his chest.

"You just can't figure me out can you? It's pissing you off."

"Little bit. One minute you fit the old profile and the next you're completely different."

"I wonder why that is…" She watched him turn and walk to a chair and sit down.

"You're too calm Foyet. I'm not tied down and you're sitting there like I'm not threat." His grin widened.

"You aren't."

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><p>"Hotch we got something." Agent Hotchner looked up from his paperwork at Morgan.<p>

"Foyet?"

"He sent us something." Hotch stood and followed Morgan to the conference room. Inside everyone was already sitting and the screen on the wall was connected to the laptop on the table.

"He sent us a camera chip." Garcia said as she typed on the laptop, opening a folder with pictures. She flipped through each picture showing Agent Holmes doing various activities, jogging in the morning, at the gym, out with friends, heading to or from work, and sleeping.

"He's been tracking her for months. Every photo has a time stamp on it. The photos of her sleeping are the most recent. He was inside her home for days before he kidnapped her."

"Does her apartment complex have cameras?"

"Only at the front and he wasn't seen on those. No one reported any unusual activity coming from her apartment." Hotch watched the pictures flash by until Garcia stopped on the last one, all of their eyes widening.

"This is time stamped two days ago." Morgan said quietly. The photo showed Agent Holmes handcuffed to a bed, her chest and groin covered but the rest of her completely bare. Her stomach was littered with scars and healing cuts. Her head was turned away but her eyes were looking at the camera. Hotch stared at her eyes, seeing the anger, defiance. He had seen her look at him with those eyes a fair few times and winced, looking away.

"Those cuts look to be a week old if not more. Why would he cut her but stop?" Hotch forced himself to listen to his team talking.

"Maybe he's bored? He's never kidnapped and kept a prisoner. He might not know what to do now." Prentiss suggested with a shrug.

"No he has a plan… Foyet has to be in control. If Holmes was fighting he'd inflict as much pain as possible without killing her prematurely. She might've stopped fighting within the last week. It would explain why she is still alive. If she gives in and follows his orders he might keep her alive." Morgan looked back at Hotch as he finished talking.

"So by submitting to Foyet, Holmes could survive?" he asked.

"It's possible."

"She's not the type to give in or submit."

"Not willingly no. But survival makes everyone change who they are. She knows more about Foyet than we ever will. She knows to stay on his good side until he's finished with her and she'll submit if it means she'll survive. Do we have a return address from where the camera came from?"

"The return address is a retirement home in New Jersey. There are no cameras near the mailbox the package was dropped off at and no one saw anyone matching Foyet's description."

"He must've paid someone to deliver the package there. So we have nothing." Morgan said with a glare, his hands clenched in anger. Hotch looked at each of his team, seeing the anger in Morgan's eyes, the sadness in Prentiss', the confusion in Reid's, the tears in Garcia's. Rossi was the only one that looked neutral but Hotch had known him long enough to know Rossi was very concerned they wouldn't find their youngest team member.

"What do we do Hotch?" He looked around at the questioning faces again before sighing softly.

"We wait for Foyet to send us another clue. If she's still alive he has a plan and he'll keep her alive until he gets what he wants."

"We have to sit and do nothing?" Morgan asked, anger flashing in his eyes. Hotch glared back.

"We will continue other cases. Agent Holmes will expect us to do our jobs. When the next clue comes we do what we can to find her." The occupants of the room were not happy with what he said but Hotch knew there truly was nothing they could do without more information to go off of. No one questioned him though.

"Use what information we have to establish a new profile on Foyet. It could help us figure out what he'll do next." They nodded and everyone stood, heading out the door to do other work. Morgan walked slower until he and Hotch were the only ones left in the room and he walked up close to Hotch with a frown.

"Did you notice she wasn't clothed?" Hotch dropped his eyes and nodded once.

"Yes I did. I'm curious as to why he covered her up. I wouldn't think decency meant anything to Foyet."

"Maybe he wants her body to be for his eyes only?"

"It would be a dominance thing. If he let everyone see her unclothed then he would feel we are seeing something only he should see."

"You don't think he's raped her do you?" Hotch looked away with a furrowed brow.

"Dominance Morgan." Morgan knew the answer and he felt bile rise to his throat as he turned and stared at the picture left on the screen.

"I'll kill that bastard if I get my hands on him." He said with a slight snarl. Hotch closed the laptop and unplugged it before looking up at Morgan.

"If you can beat me to it."

* * *

><p>There ya go. Hope you enjoyed it.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the long wait. Someone needs to constantly hound me to continue updating this.

* * *

><p>Three months past and Morgan was slowly giving up hope of ever finding Agent Holmes again. Everyone was working on the case but Foyet was too smart. He kept sending photos or letters but the only clue they had was Foyet was somewhere near Stafford. They combed the city with the information they had but found nothing. Morgan was getting desperate. It had been four months since the day she had been kidnapped. Every month that past Morgan fell in to a deeper depression. Him and Hotch were not the people anyone wanted to be around. Hotch was extremely short if anyone spoke to him and stayed in his office most of the time. Morgan had a short fuse and snapped at anyone for any reason he could come up with. Every night he went home and went over evidence, wishing he could find at least one mistake.<p>

* * *

><p>Hotch walked into his apartment and turned the lights on, laying his keys on the table. He began to take his jacket off when he noticed something different. On his couch lay a manila envelope that had definitely not been there when he left. He quickly locked his door and pulled out his gun, immediately searching each room. When the apartment was clear he put his gun away and picked up the envelope, opening it and placing the contents on the table. He frowned at the pictures and the small box. He picked the box up and opened it, grimacing as he saw the necklace Agent Holmes had always worn since the day she graduated the Academy. Hotch had been the one to give it to her.<p>

He had never told anyone, not even Rossi, but Alex Holmes was his protégé in a way. He had had her help during a case in Texas once. She had shown significant skills, amateur but still good skills, in profiling and he had given her his card to call if she ever wanted to try federal police work. Three years went by and he hadn't heard from her until one night, after a particularly brutal case they had lost most of the victims on and had killed the unsub. She had called him when he was just laying down for bed. She had apologized for calling so late, having just gotten off work herself. She wanted to know if he still wanted to help her with the FBI. They talked for over an hour, Hotch using his profiling on the phone to see if she would be a right choice. Within a week she was in Quantico starting the FBI training academy. A year later he brought her to his team. He had been at her graduation and had given her the silver necklace, a Celtic Knot for friendship. From that day they had a different relationship, one he knew bordered on inappropriate, at least from his end.

The pictures Hotch saw made his stomach roll. Agent Holmes was tied up, blindfolded and gagged. Foyet took the picture himself, angling the camera so he was showing, holding a knife in his right hand over her neck. The pictures became more graphic until Hotch had to throw the pictures down and back away, shutting his eyes tight, trying to keep his stomach from coming up. The last item on the table was a small notecard with a smiley face written in red sharpie. He looked up at the window, his mouth parted as he leaned on the chair, taking in a shaky breath. He felt weak after seeing the pictures and knew he would get no sleep that night.

* * *

><p>Alex woke to her stomach flipping painfully and almost gagged at the feeling. She groaned softly and turned over, curling up against the wave of nausea. It was slowly getting worse and she knew she would lose her stomach soon.<p>

"Foyet!" She called out, the alarm evident in her voice. She heard movement from another room and the door opened, Foyet walking in looking extremely tired and pissed off.

"What the fuck is so important you had to wake me up at four in the morning?"

"I'm going to be sick." He stared at her and when she gagged, jumped forward, picking her up, cradling her body against his and walking into the bathroom. He put her on the floor just as she felt herself about to throw up. Alex hung her head over the toilet as she lost her stomach. When the dry heaving stopped she panted softly, looking up at Foyet. He shifted uncomfortably at the sink before turning and grabbing a wash cloth, wetting it and handing it to her. Alex wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet, sitting back with a groan.

"What started that?"

"No idea. Woke up sick." He put his hands in his pockets and frowned down at me.

"Right. Well stay in here until you feel better then go back to bed." She nodded and watched him leave the bathroom. He always locked the door from the outside if she was not restrained and he had made sure there was no way the window would ever open. She was glad for the little freedom she was allowed though.

Alex threw up twice more before her stomach settled enough so she could sleep. After passing out she slept most of the day and well into the night, worrying Foyet. Any time Foyet brought her anything other than water or made any food, she got sick again. He was getting as frustrated as she was but luckily he didn't take it out on her. He made her eat crackers and drink Sprite which settled her stomach for the most part. The good part about being sick was Foyet didn't come closer than two feet near her.

* * *

><p>A week past and Alex was no better. She felt weak but her stomach didn't hurt until suddenly she had to throw up. She decided the best thing to do was stay in the bathroom for the most part. Foyet was getting fed up with it.<p>

"What the fuck happened to make you like this?" Alex shrugged and picked at a string hanging from the pair of pants Foyet allowed her to wear.

"I feel fine until it decides to come up. I just… won't eat for a few days." He raised a brow at her sarcasm and she laid her head back against the bathroom wall.

"Well you haven't eaten anything to make you sick. What the fuck is causing it?"

"You could you know… take me to a hospital. Better yet you could _leave _me at a hospital!" She replied with sarcastic joy. He glared and she shrugged once.

"Worth a shot." He watched as Alex rubbed her stomach before grimacing and shifting her breast.

"Can't you at least give me a bra? This is starting to get painful." He stared down at her with wide eyes. When Alex heard no reply, angry or otherwise, she glanced up and frowned.

"What?" He ran his hand over his buzzed hair with a grimace.

"When uh… When was your last period?" Alex stilled and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Do not even fucking say that Foyet!" He glared.

"When?" He snapped. She glared back.

"I'm late. That's all. My cycle is screwed up because I don't have the birth control I normally take since you kidnapped me." She said with a slight snarl. He reached down and grabbed her throat, pulling her up and putting her against the wall.

"You talk to me like that again and you won't have to worry about whether you're pregnant or not. I'll fucking slit your throat and it won't matter." Alex saw the rage in his eyes and nodded.

"I'm sorry George. Won't happen again." He immediately let her go and walked away.

"I'm going to the store. Don't go anywhere." He added with a smirk. Alex glared at his retreating figure, waiting for the click of the lock on her bedroom door before slowly sinking to the floor, her hand on her stomach, her heart in her throat and tears in her eyes. She had never contemplated getting pregnant by anyone. She was always careful, and her sex life was practically nonexistent since joining the BAU, so the idea of her being pregnant seemed too foreign to be real.

When Foyet came back, he threw a box at Alex, telling her to find out for sure. She stared at the box for ten minutes before gathering up the courage to open it. She took the stick and used the restroom, putting the stick on the counter and flushing the toilet before grabbing it. With a deep breath and a quick prayer she looked down and almost cried, letting out a small whimper instead. Those two little lines staring back at her made her feel sick and she fell back against the wall, sinking down to the ground, the test clattering to the floor. Foyet heard the noise and ran in, ready to yell at her by the look on his face before he saw the test on the floor and her eyes welling with tears. He picked it up and stared for the longest time, his mouth slightly parted. She wiped the tears away and stood glaring at him before walking forward until she was almost up against him.

"Great job getting your hostage pregnant you asshole. What do you plan to do with me now? Kill me and get rid of the evidence? Make me get rid of the baby? Hell I don't know what's worse, the idea of killing a baby or having your child! You're such a fucking asshole why couldn't you just stick to your norm and fucking kill me or let me go! Why do you have to keep me here when I haven't had any participation in your fucking case?!" Somewhere from the time when she first saw the pregnancy test and Foyet walking in she lost her sanity for talking to him that way. Her captor slammed her away from him into the wall and glared furiously, his hand around her throat. She felt her air cutting off and tears came to her eyes. As she began crying Foyet was at a loss of what to do, choosing to let go and back away slowly, staring at her in shock.

"Just kill me." She said softly. She closed her eyes and sank to the floor, sobbing into her arms. She heard Foyet move and jolted when he pulled her up into his arms and picked her up.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Alex cried. He held her against his chest and walked into the bedroom, setting her down gently on the bed. She curled up as far away from him as she could get and buried her head in the pillow so she didn't have to see him. Alex felt the bed dip though and suddenly had his arms around her, holding her close against him. She was too distraught to fight him; she just lay in his arms crying until she was too tired to cry anymore. As she was falling asleep she shifted to look back at Foyet. He was very conflicted, his frown and furrowed brow giving her enough information to know he didn't know how to handle the situation. She turned back and laid her head on the pillow with a sigh.

"I truly hate you." She muttered before closing her eyes and willing herself to sleep.

Alex didn't get out of bed for a week. She was so depressed with her new condition even Foyet's anger couldn't get her to move. He couldn't get her to eat or drink anything unless she was too weak to resist him. He started sleeping next to her and she began to slowly rely on his presence to help her. She hated Foyet with a passion but having that warm body next to her helped her sleep better than she thought possible. Foyet tried his hardest to keep her healthy but the more she refused food the more helpless he became.

Foyet watched Alex sleep. She was peaceful looking while she slept, which was the only time she looked that way. While she was beginning to show with her pregnancy he could also tell she was rapidly losing weight and that was worrying him. Worrying about her also pissed him off. He shouldn't care if she died. He shouldn't care if she lost so much weight she starved herself. He shouldn't care if she lost the baby. He shouldn't care that she was hurting and he couldn't do anything to help. He shouldn't feel the need to protect and care for her.

He stood from his chair and walked out of the room, not even bothering to lock it. He sat on the couch and rubbed his eyes, looking around the room for anything that could possibly help him figure out what to do. His paintball mask sat on the shelf with a pair of black gloves. His leather trench coat and black hoodie long since forgotten in the closet. Nothing that could give him answers. He was disgusted with himself. He was a disappointing shell of his former self, no longer stalking, no longer killing or maiming. He put fear in that FBI team for years. Now, he was more worried about keeping Alex alive than getting satisfaction by making her suffer. He felt an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach that he had never felt before that he couldn't name. He looked down and rubbed his stomach with a frown.

"Don't tell me you're pregnant too?" He stayed still but his eyes shifted to look at the open door.

"No. I have this feeling that I've never felt before."

"Humanity?" he glared.

"No. I could still kill you without an ounce of remorse. But I feel something when I notice you're losing weight. You're deteriorating." Her brow raised and she leaned against the doorframe.

"That's called guilt you Vulcan." His head snapped around and he glared furiously.

"What did you say?"

"I'm just saying you feel guilty for putting me through this." He rolled his eyes.

"I definitely do not."

"Deny it all you want but I know guilt when I see it. Why else would you try to comfort me?" He stood up and looked down at the knife lying on the table.

"I feel guilty, as you say, for the baby. My baby. Not for you." He said, slightly unconvincing. She smiled softly and shook her head.

"Lie all you want Foyet. I'm starting to get to know the real you that you try to hide. You shouldn't hide it. It's not so bad." She walked back into the room and Foyet stared after her in confusion. She liked the real him?

Alex woke up from Foyet shaking her hard once. She groaned and tried to sit up but he smacked her back down.

"Foyet!" She cried out as his hand wrapped around her neck.

"I don't feel guilty for you. I don't feel guilty for the fucking baby. This is the real me!" He snarled, pulling out the knife that had been on the table. Her eyes widened and she tried to put her hands up to defend himself. He brought his free hand up and made a fist. The last thing she saw was his expression changing from angry to hesitant and as his fist came down at her face, despair.

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><p>Well there you go. Cliff hanger what happens! Now you HAVE to hound me to update so you know what happens to her :-P<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Hotch woke with a start as his phone rang out in the silence. He sat up and reached for it, putting it up to his ear with a groan.

"What is it?"

"Stafford Hospital Center just called. Alex is there." His eyes widened.

"What? He left her at a hospital?"

"They said a man brought her in asking for help. She was… cut up pretty bad."

"I'm on my way."

"I'll meet you there."

Forty minutes later Hotch was running into the Emergency Room at Stafford Hospital Center. Morgan was at the front desk talking to the nurse, showing her his credentials.

"Morgan." He looked back as Hotch walked up.

"The doctor is with her now. They don't want to let me back." Hotch held up his badge.

"I'm her boss and we need to talk to the doctor right now." He said with a glare. The nurses' eyes widened and she nodded softly.

"Follow me." Morgan raised a brow at Hotch.

"I was handling it."

"Sweet talking her isn't going to work she's used to it." Morgan nodded with a grin and followed behind Hotch.

They stopped at a door that was slightly ajar. The nurse knocked softly and walked in, whispering to the doctor. He walked out and looked at the two men with a soft smile.

"I'm Doctor Fletcher."

"Special Agent Hotchner, Special Agent Morgan. How is she?"

"She'll be fine. She has a hairline fracture on her zygomatic bone and her eyebrow has three stitches. She had a major cut on her face, above her brow down to her cheek. She might want to consider plastic surgery. But all other cuts were minor with no stitches," He turned and headed back in the room slowly, "And the baby is completely healthy." Hotch and Morgan had started to follow the doctor but stopped immediately, staring at him with horrified expressions.

"What baby?"

"She's sixteen weeks pregnant. But the baby didn't have any trauma during the attack." Hotch recovered first and walked past Morgan.

"Did anyone come in with her? A man?"

"He stayed until the nurse called her emergency contact. Then he just disappeared."

"Did he look like this?" He held up a picture and the doctor looked at it.

"Yeah that's him. He doesn't look that sickly anymore though. He put on some weight."

"We'll need to look at the surveillance cameras whenever there's a chance. Who do we need to talk to?"

"Security should be able to help you with that." Hotch pulled out his phone and called his team, telling them all to get to the hospital immediately.

"Morgan, stay with Holmes. Call me as soon as she wakes up." Morgan nodded and stood close to the bed. Hotch motioned for the doctor to follow him out.

"Doctor did you notice signs of trauma other than the knife wounds? Rape, abuse?"

"There was no signs of trauma to her genitals. Recent or old. There are some scars on her stomach but nothing major. She seems to have lost a bit of weight in the past two weeks. Probably from the baby. She needs to eat a lot more and gain some weight."

"Was she awake when she was brought in?"

"No she's been unconscious since she came in. We ran some scans, her brain function is normal and her breathing is fine. She'll wake in her own time and we'll know more then." Hotch nodded and muttered a thank you before letting the doctor go back to his job.

When Garcia showed up with Reid and Prentiss he sent her to the security room to look at the cameras. Morgan refused to leave Holmes so Hotch gave him the assignment of her bodyguard. Just in case Foyet came back. Reid and Prentiss were in charge of creating a new profile based on the condition she came in in. He moved back and forth between the different areas, trying to be of help. Rossi stepped back and just watched, letting Hotch call all the shots.

He went into the security room where Garcia was set up going through videos.

"What've we got?"

"Well I've got outside security footage of Foyet getting out of a dark colored sedan, he kept license plates off camera. Working on that. He carried her inside the hospital. He had some blood on his shirt where she had her face pressed to him. He doesn't look too happy." Hotch leaned over her and looked at the footage. Foyet was definitely upset about something.

"You think he's upset because he had to drop her off?"

"Maybe… Inside footage shows him calling for help and the nurses assisting him. He wouldn't let her go. He refused to leave her side but kept calm enough that they never called security. When they finally separate them Foyet looks even more upset." Hotch watched as she explained and frowned.

"He almost looks… afraid." She looked up at him in shock.

"Foyet afraid? Of being caught?"

"No. Of losing Holmes." He got up and walked out, pulling out his phone.

"Morgan," he heard.

"Has she woken up yet?"

"Not yet but shouldn't be too long. She's moving a little."

"Call me as soon as she wakes." He reiterated. He ended the call and called Reid.

"Reid,"

"What have you got?"

"It seems based off the wounds he inflicted that in the beginning his profile was accurate. He wanted to be in control and dominate Holmes and used the knife to inflict pain on her. The profile though, said he was impotent because of how long he took with the knife wounds on his preferred type. Obviously we were wrong about that but what's confusing is the doctor said there was no sign of trauma."

"Meaning he made sure not to hurt her. It's still rape."

"It is but he cared enough not to hurt her and that suggests he has compassion and guilt. He didn't want to hurt her."

"But he made sure she enjoyed it. I know Holmes and she wouldn't enjoy it just because he was good in bed. He forced her to enjoy it."

"Right he made her feel that she was willingly giving him what he wanted. It was part of the control and need for dominance. He wanted a satisfied partner that was satisfied solely because of him."

"But why, if he cared, would he cut her face like that?"

"I think he realized he was caring for her and became angry with himself. He had to revert back to his old habits and injure her. Then when he felt more compassion and guilt for what he did, he brought her to the hospital."  
>"Why would he give her up?"<p>

"I don't know if he intended to. He only left because the nurse called Morgan. He might've brought her back to his home once she was better."

"And killed her. That would fit his profile."

"I think we need to talk to Holmes before we can know more. She has to know how he was acting before he hurt her." Hotch heard a noise and looked at his phone to see Morgan calling.  
>"I have to go. I'll call when I know more." He switched calls.<p>

"Is she awake?"

"She's waking up now. The doctor is coming in too."

"I'll be right there."

I woke up hearing a heart monitor and two people talking lowly. My face was burning and my head pounding. My eye felt swollen and I couldn't remember why. I slowly opened my eyes before noticing one was closed and I couldn't open it. I looked around with my one eye and saw a sight that had me almost crying. My noise of shock turned Derek Morgan around, his eyes brightening and his mouth breaking out in the widest smile I had ever seen on him.

"Hey Alex. Finally waking up." He sat down and took my hand in his. I felt a tear fall from my eye even though I was smiling.

"God I missed you Derek. You have no idea." I said with a chuckle.

"I missed you too. We all did."

"The whole teams here?"

"Every last one of them. The Director is on his way down too." My eye widened slightly.

"What?"

"Yeah. You've been gone so long even he took an interest." I looked down at the bed.

"How's Hotch?" He frowned softly.

"He's been really stressed. We all have. He took it the hardest though." I reached up to my face and felt a bandage over my cheek and eye, and another bandage over my right brow.

"Jesus he did a number on me didn't he…" Morgan's brow furrowed.

"I can't imagine the horror you went through with Foyet." I sighed softly.

"It was bad. At first the pain and humiliation were enough. But he realized I wasn't playing his games and he started making sure I was taken care of and… well this," I pointed to my stomach with a soft chuckle, not amused in the slightest.

"Are you going to keep the baby?" I looked down and nodded softly.

"I have to." I said quietly.

"Why? After what he did to you-"

"He did it. There's no reason to punish the baby. Plus… it may be the only thing that keeps me alive."

"What do you mean?"

"He let me go. He would've killed me eventually if I hadn't gotten pregnant. When I did, his whole demeanor around me changed. He changed. If I take that away, do you really think he won't come after me?"

"He created life instead of destroying it. It's the first time in his life he's done that… He would definitely come after you." I nodded.

"It put him off guard. I think he was more shocked than I was." Morgan chuckled softly. We looked up as Hotchner walked in and I smiled.

"Hey Hotch," he smiled softly and walked in.

"How are you feeling?"

"Been better but pretty good considering. You?"

"Same." He said with a grin. Hotch looked from Morgan to I and to our hands intertwined but said nothing.

"Foyet escaped. There's no trace of him."

"I didn't think there would be."  
>"Did you notice anything about where you were?"<p>

"It was a house. Two bedroom I'm guessing. He didn't sleep near me. Wasn't badly taken care of. He kept the window sealed and shut at all times. I wasn't allowed out of the bedroom until the night he… He did this," I said as I pointed to my face, "He left the door unlocked and I came out and made him realize the way he was acting was because he was guilty." Morgan's eyes widened in shock.

"You told him that?"

"Yes. And here I am. May have been the smartest thing I did."

"Did you try to profile him?"

"Every day. I think it kept me alive. I started off appealing to his dominant side, being submissive. Then he figured out what I was doing." Hotch nodded and crossed his arms, looking down at the ground with a frown.

"We're going to need as many details as possible. I know it'll be hard…"

"I know. I'll answer any question." Morgan went to stand and leave, possibly to give her privacy, but she didn't let go of his hand.

"Stay please?" He nodded softly.

"Sure baby girl." Hotch walked forward and pulled out his notebook. Normally he didn't use one but he knew he needed to remember even the smallest detail.

"What happened the night he kidnapped you?" She sighed and looked up, squeezing Morgan's hand softly and beginning her tale.

* * *

><p>Hotchner and Morgan took turns staying in the hospital with Alex. She hated them wasting their time on her but she knew they were also making sure she was never alone so Foyet wouldn't return for any reason. She decided though, when she got out, since she had been told she could take time off until after the baby was born, considering that was just a few months away, she would go to her home town. She knew Hotch and Morgan would hate that idea but she didn't have much of a choice. If she stayed here she would never be able to get over any of it. She'd always be afraid Foyet was right around the corner. Hell she was afraid if she saw him… she'd be happy. She hadn't told anyone that.<p>

It was late at night, almost 2 am, when Alex suddenly felt the urge to confide in her boss. He was awake with her, reading a book under the night light in the room. He always stayed awake until she fell asleep and was always awake when she woke. She didn't find it weird though. Hotch was never one to do anything that made him seem human. Not in front of colleagues anyways.

"Hey Hotch," He looked up and put the book down.

"Something wrong?" She sighed softly and shrugged.

"I don't know… I just feel… wrong." He frowned softly and sat up, laying his arms on the bed.

"Wrong about what?"

"Hotch… Foyet didn't treat me anything like the profile would suggest. What did you notice about me when you first saw me in the hospital? Other than the cuts and pregnancy."

"You were completely healthy." She nodded once.

"He fed me well, kept me hydrated. Let me sleep in a bed. Yes he locked me in and wouldn't let me out but he took care of me."

"He hurt you Alex."

"In the beginning yes. But over time he cared about me. Now… looking back on it, I felt safe." Hotch sat back and rubbed his upper lip with his finger in thought.

"After he made you sleep with him, did he always stay?" She shook her head.

"Not at first. When we found out I was pregnant he held me because I was distraught. I fell asleep in his arms. He continued staying there every night and I got used to it. It's weird not having that warm body next to me." He smiled sympathetically.

"I know what you mean. It's hard to lose that feeling." She looked up at Hotch and shrugged.

"I hate Foyet. I want to catch him and put him away. But being around him made me comfortable." Hotch nodded.

"Then it's good you said something. That comfort could get you killed."

"I know… I wanted to run something by you since no one else is here…" He looked at me in question, his brow furrowed, making him look more angry than curious. She smiled at the look anyways.

"What?"

"I was thinking… I would go to spend time with my mom when I get out. Get some time away. Clear my head." He sat back and looked out the window.

"We would help you, you know. I would."

"Oh I don't doubt that at all. But maybe I need some time away from everything. Remember Foyet is still after you. If I stay and you and I are around each other, he may perceive you as more of a threat than before." Hotch rubbed his neck and looked at the ground.

"You want to leave… you're family Alex. I brought you to the team and you fit in with everyone. They want to help you."

"Hotch please. Don't talk me out of it. I need to get away."

"Until when? How much time do you need?" She sighed softly and shrugged.

"I don't know. Could be days, could be months. But you know I'll have to go on maternity leave anyways."

"Until the baby's born. Well then go down to your family. Spend all the time you need. But I expect at least an email a day. And a phone call." She smiled.

"Of course I'm not going to cut off everyone. Hell maybe if you guys get a big case you can call me and let me know what's going on."

"I can do that." She smiled softly.

"So you're okay with it?" He chuckled softly.

"No. But that's just me wanting to be there for you. I think it'll be good for you to get away and heal."

"I just don't know what to say to my mother… She has no idea. I'm sure she's pissed I haven't been calling or emailing her." Hotch cleared his throat and looked up with a sheepish expression.

"I uh… didn't want her to worry." Alex looked at him with a raised brow.

"What did you do Hotch?"

"I told her you were in special training and I would relay messages when you had time…" She chuckled softly.

"You would. Is she upset?"

"No she understands. You know her. She's used to family being very busy."

"True. Have you told her about this?" He shook his head.

"That's not my tale to tell."

"I couldn't tell her though… it would hurt her to know what's happened… I'll have to find a way to make sure she'll be okay."

"'Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love'." She smiled softly.

"You would use a quote from an unknown source. So I think I'm going to tell her I had a one night stand and got pregnant… sounds plausible right?" he raised his brow.

"When was the last time you took a man home for anything?" Her grin fell.

"Shit you're right. And she knows that… The only guys I am ever around are you and the team. _That _would not go over well." Hotch chuckled.

"No it wouldn't. Can you imagine Reid pretending to be a father? He'd try running through numbers and tell the baby every fact he could think of." Alex smiled.

"Or Morgan? He'd probably use the baby to pick up chicks at the park."

"Rossi would be interesting. That look he gives when he knows you screwed up. I bet the baby would be doing it within a week." She looked at him and tilted her head with a soft smile.

"What about you Hotch?" His smile faded slightly.

"Me?"

"Yeah. You have a kid already. What would you do that could potentially screw up my child's life?" she said with a chuckle.

"I…" he looked down in thought and she was somewhat shocked he was thinking it through at all.

"Hotch come on," He looked up, "You and I both know you'd have him giving everyone that stern stare you like to intimidate us with." He chuckled.

"I do not like to intimidate. It's just me."

"I know. Don't worry the whole team likes it." He sat back and rested his chin on his hand.

"Are you going to acknowledge Foyet as the father?"

"Hell no. I'll just leave the name blank." He nodded.

"Probably for the best. You know we're all here for you though. We'll help you raise the baby." She smiled softly.

"Thank you Hotch. It means a lot."

* * *

><p>Hotch closed his lap top and leaned back in his chair, looking out the window at his quiet team. There was little laughter and horseplay anymore since Holmes left. The others didn't know where she was but he had assured them she was just getting some time away and healing. She kept her word and emailed and called every day. She sent him photos even, to prove she was recovering. But Hotch knew how to fake a happy life too. It was one thing profilers were good at. He just didn't have time to go see her with how many cases they had and how much paperwork they needed to finish.<p>

The phone started ringing and Hotch picked it up without looking at the number.

"Hotchner."

"You sound so professional." He glared at the wall.

"Foyet. You have a lot of balls calling me at work."

"By the time you trace the number and get someone out where I am, I'll be long gone anyways." Hotch knew he was right but didn't admit it.

"What do you want?"  
>"How is she?" Hotch stilled. Foyet's voice wasn't smug or even angry. He sounded concerned.<p>

"You mean you don't know? I figured you'd be following her every movement."

"Texas is too hot for me."

"It's Winter Foyet."

"How is she Agent Hotchner?" he sat back in the chair and rubbed his eyes.

"She's pregnant. She's traumatized."

"Yes I got her pregnant. Not planned I assure you. But traumatized? I could've done a whole lot worse."

"You did enough."

"How's the baby?" Hotch looked out at his team.

"He's fine." Foyet was quiet for a moment.

"A boy?" his voice gave away the surprise and awe he felt.

"Yes it's a boy. He's healthy."

"I bet he looks like Alex. I wouldn't want him looking like me. Might make his life hell since you put my face out to every media outlet in the country."

"And overseas. No one will hide you."

"I don't need them to hide me; I can do that myself." Hotch glared and tapped the table impatiently.

"I'm done talking to you Foyet."

"Relay a message."

"Not happening."

"You might want to. I'll hunt her down again if you don't." Hotch rolled his eyes.

"I'll put a bullet in your brain Foyet. If your goal is to force her to spend more time with me, then your plan is working because I won't let her out of my sight again."

"I could be standing outside her mother's home right now."

"You already told me Texas is too hot."

"I could be lying. Relay the message to Alex." Hotch sighed and hit the table with his finger.

"Fine what is the message?" Foyet chuckled.

"I want to be sent pictures of my son. Updated often. If she sends those to me, she will never be bothered by me again."

"If it were up to me I'd say go to hell."

"It's not up to you." He hung up without another word and Hotch put the phone back on the receiver and looked at the desk with a frown, his mind racing.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for not updating! Though some of this chapter is just filler and kind of yawn worthy, I think the end will make up for it... and the parts to come!

* * *

><p>Alex sat on her mother's front porch, her legs pulled up behind her, her elbow perched on the wicker armrest. She flipped through a case file Hotch had sent her while sipping on a glass of water. Her mother sat in the chair next to her reading a book. She had been home for months now and was enjoying the spring weather. One of the few weeks of the year it was nice enough out to sit there and read. She had helped solve four cases since she had been on leave and was working on her fifth.<p>

"Honey you need to take a break. You _are_ on leave." Alex rolled her eyes with a grin.

"Mom you know how important these cases are. And I'm in charge of finding the connections between these murders. So I have to." Her mother put the book down and sighed.

"You're on vacation. Why don't we go to a movie?"

"I have to pee every five minutes Mom. Not a good idea."

"We can go get something to eat?"

"We just ate an hour ago." She huffed.

"Fine. Oh look, a visitor." Alex chuckled and continued reading the case file.

"Honey, I think it's for you." She said with a smile in her voice. Alex looked up and her eyes widened slightly. She folded the file back together and stood.

"Hotch…" He walked up the stairs, his hands in his pockets. He smiled softly and looked at the ground as he stilled.

"I wanted to come see how you were doing." Her mother walked up and looked between them.

"You're Agent Hotchner I presume?" Hotch turned to her and smiled, pulling his hand from his pocket and extending it.

"You can call me Aaron." She took the hand and smiled at Alex.

"You never told me how handsome he was." Alex flushed and didn't meet Hotch's amused eyes.

"How about some drinks Mom?" She said with an embarrassed grin. Her mother smiled up at Hotch before going inside.

"So… That's my mother." She said with a soft chuckle.

"She's great Alex. Don't worry about it. Mothers are very good at embarrassing us." He followed her over to the wicker bench and sat down.

"Not that I'm upset to see you or anything but why come all the way out here? Something happen in the case?"

"No it's going well. I just wanted to come see you. See how it's going." Alex smiled softly and sat back.

"I'm fine Hotch, really. It was hard the first couple months but I'm sleeping on my own, lights all off, not worried about it."

"And the scars?" She felt her face with a soft grimace.

"Still sore sometimes but not bad. The looks are what get to me the most I guess. People staring, wondering what could've possibly happened to the young pretty pregnant girl." Hotch grimaced with sympathy.

"It must be hard. But you're strong enough to brush it off. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." She smiled softly.

"It may not but it's still too new to brush it off. And it's so… mean looking." She watched as his hand came up and two fingers pressed to the side of her face. He turned her head gently and she looked right at him as he gazed at the scar across her face. She was proud she didn't flinch when he brought his hand up and touched the scar. She watched as he turned his hand and ran the back of his fingers down her face, almost as if he were caressing her. There was a strange emotion in his eyes she had never seen from her boss.

"I don't see anything mean about it." There was a soft clearing of the throat behind them and Hotch's hand snapped back and he cleared his throat, sitting up straight.

"Mrs. Holmes, thank you." He took the drink and looked at the ground. Alex felt her face heat up at the look her mother gave her but ignored it, picking up her drink and taking a sip.

"So Aaron, you're in charge yes?" Hotch nodded.

"I'm the Unit Chief yes."

"I bet it's hard. I know I don't get to see Alex more than a couple times a year. Do you have family up there?" He looked at Alex before nodding  
>"I have a son… Jack. He's with his mother. I don't have a schedule conducive to raising a child."<p>

"It must be hard having a child you can never see. At least you have his mother there." Hotch saw Alex's face changed very slightly, her eyes narrowing for a split second before returning to neutral.

"Friends help too. I don't think any person or couple could raise a child without friends there." Alex glanced at him but said nothing.

"Yes quite. So will you be staying awhile Aaron? We have a guest room you are more than welcome to stay in." Hotch noticed the okay from Alex before nodding.

"That would be great. Thank you Mrs. Holmes."

"Don't worry dear. It'll be nice to have a man around the house again." Her mother stood and went back inside and Alex chuckled softly, standing with little struggle from her stomach.

"That's Mom for you. Hasn't had Dad in ten years and wants me to find a man. Unfortunately until you have to go back, that's you Hotch." He stood and smirked.

"Not a terrible thought." She heard as she walked inside after her mother. She chose not to comment on what he said; instead she just smiled over her shoulder at him.

Alex's mother took them upstairs and smiled as Hotch helped Alex. When they were all up on the top floor she took them to Alex's room first.

"Mom he doesn't want to see my childhood." She tried. She knew Hotch would look around and start profiling her life immediately.

"Oh come now it's not like you had a horrible childhood." Alex knew it was a losing situation to talk her mother out of it and stood back as she opened the door. Hotch walked forward and looked around, noticing the photos of her friends, of her and her brother, her and her mom, and her dog. She knew what he noticed immediately. Lack of father photos.

"It's a nice room." He gave me a look that meant he would talk to me later and I grimaced softly.

"Right well, Hotch your room is right next door how about we go there?" Hotch grinned and nodded.

"That'll be great."

Hotch stayed with Alex and her mother for three days. During those three days Alex began to see a side of him she had never seen before. He helped make food, helped clean dishes, and helped Alex with everything. Her mother would stand back and always had that knowing smile.

On the first night, Hotch and Alex sat out on the back porch watched the dog run around the yard.

"So tell me what happened to your father." Alex sighed softly.

"Didn't take you long, did it?"

"I know he died. I saw the file but it didn't seem to affect you. When a child loses a parent, they keep photos and as many memories as possible."

"Please don't profile me Hotch." He shook his head.

"I can't help it this time Alex. This is something you need to finally talk about. And I'm listening." She pulled her legs up under her.

"Dad was… I don't know… He wasn't a drunk, he wasn't a drug addict… But for as long as I can remember I didn't trust him. I had a lock on my door, I left if we were home alone…"

"He never hurt you?"

"Not that I can remember… he never hit me. He never hit Mom. But one day I just remember being uncomfortable around him." He frowned and sat forward.

"Have you talked to your mother about this?"

"No. I had nothing to help figure out what happened."

"We can work on-"

"No thanks. If something bad happened, I'm perfectly fine not remembering it. He's gone and I have no reason to bring up the past." He nodded softly.

"I understand. You know though, that memories can resurface at the worst times. It might be better to find out what happened and deal with it then come across a similar situation on a case and it all come back. It's happened in the past." Alex knew he was referring to the mishap only a few years previous with Agent Greenaway. Alex looked up into Hotch's eyes as her heart started racing.

"Will you help me?"

* * *

><p>Alex lay out on her bed with Hotch over her, her eyes closed. She knew the memory stimulus treatment he was trying. It had to stay extremely quiet and she had to concentrate. He was walking her through her life, going back further and further until they found the approximate time of her life when she couldn't recall much.<p>

"Think about what happened in the morning. You woke up," She watched the memory in her mind with a furrowed brow.

"I woke up… got ready for school. Mom made breakfast."

"What did she make?" Her brow furrowed further.

"I… don't remember."

"Think about the smell." She continued trying to force the memory out but got nothing.

"I don't remember."

"Where was your father?"

"He… was in the bathroom. He… came out. Told me he wanted to talk to me… Wanted me to come inside the bathroom… He closed the door." She opened her eyes and sat up, staring forward.

"Alex?" She didn't move. She felt the bed dip and a hand on her shoulder.

"He did something didn't he?" She nodded softly and he pulled her close, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

"It's okay Alex. I know it's hard." She felt tears prick her eyes as the memories resurfaced.

"Hotch…" she whispered softly. She pressed her face against his chest as he held her close.

* * *

><p>Hotch held Alex close to him and was at a loss of what to do. When he first entered the house and saw no pictures of Alex and her father together he knew something was wrong. He saw the way Alex avoided anything about her father at work, in personal conversations and now he knew why. He had abused her in the worst way and she had suppressed the memories to keep herself from feeling the pain.<p>

"Alex it'll be alright. I'm here for you." He practically pulled her into his lap and let her cry into his shirt, staying quiet for her benefit.

When Alex was quiet Hotch gently pulled her away and looked down at her red eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to remember that Alex. You've been through so much and I'm proud of how you have survived and thrived. You're a great agent Alex. You have to believe that with or without those memories, you are the same person. You survived your father, became an officer, joined the FBI, joined my team. You were tortured by a sadistic serial killer and as a result became pregnant."

"Not making me feel better." She muttered. He smiled and pulled her chin up so they were face to face, noses mere centimeters apart.

"You are the strongest person I've met Alex. With every tragedy you grow stronger." She looked into his hazel eyes, biting her lower lip softly.

"Aaron… how do I do this on my own?" He frowned.

"You aren't doing this on your own. You have the team… you have me." he said quietly. Her eyes widened slightly as he moved closer, slowly pressing his lips to hers. She stilled against him but closed her eyes. After a moment he pulled away and her head fell onto his chest once again, her arms wrapping around his midsection.

Alex fell asleep against Hotch and he carefully maneuvered her around so they were lying down on her bed. He had held a pregnant woman once before while she slept but this time it was different. He felt an overwhelming need to protect her more than he ever felt for Haley. He had caused Alex more pain inadvertently than he had ever caused someone else. Now he felt something he should never feel for a subordinate. Especially one so much younger than he. He remembered the first day he saw Alex, only a few miles from where they were now. It had been a harder case than they imagined and she had been the only detective to stay as long as they did. She found things in pictures Reid missed. Hotch and Alex had gone out for a drink afterwards while everyone else passed out from exhaustion. They had talked about the case and her skills before he gave her his card for a future in the FBI. He got her into the career and now he felt responsible for her well-being.

Hotch woke first the next morning, almost blinded by the bright Texas sun. He looked down and saw Alex cuddled up against him, her head still on his chest, her hand resting on his lower abdomen. She looked more peaceful in her sleep than he had ever seen her before.

"Alex, time to- Oh." He looked up sharply as the door opened and stared at her mother with a furrowed brow.

"Mrs. Holmes…"

"Oh it's alright dear. I didn't see anything." He nodded with a soft smile.

"Thank you."

"You know, this is the first time I've seen her sleep this late and that well. She's usually such a light sleeper she would've woken when you did." He looked down at Alex.

"Ma'am your daughter and I did a memory test last night to find out her troubles with her father. Do you know anything about it?" She looked away and folded her hands together as if she was nervous.

"I don't know…" he frowned at her.

"Are you sure? Anything you can remember would be extremely helpful to Alex." She shook her head.

"I remember nothing. Her father was a good man." There was a soft tremor in her voice. Hotch carefully moved out from under Alex and stood, smoothing out his shirt before walking out of the room and closing the door.

"Ma'am this is very serious. Alex has had a traumatic year and anything you can tell me would help me. I want her to heal. I need to help her heal." Her mother stared at him for a moment and he knew he was showing the desperation he felt.

"Her father was… very determined. If he wanted something he took it. I used to admire it. When Alex came along he was ecstatic to have a child… until she started fighting back. He took it personally instead of realizing she was just a child that wanted to be an adult."

"When did he start abusing her?"

"I had suspicions when she was eight. Nothing concrete but the way he looked at her, the way she avoided him. I did my best to keep them apart but without proof… what could I do?" He nodded once.

"I understand. Did you ever catch him doing anything he wasn't supposed to?"

"No I never did. I should've been more aware."

"Don't blame yourself now. You helped her grow more than you know. If you hadn't been there for her, she wouldn't have achieved nearly as much." She smiled softly.

"If you hadn't met her, she wouldn't have achieved as much either." He looked back at the closed door for a moment. She laid her hand on his arm and chuckled softly.

"Don't look so confused Aaron. I've seen the way you two act. And I've seen Alex before meeting you. Any time she talked about you she had this… look in her eyes. I don't think she even knew it. She's always been very professional, never starting relationships with any coworkers."

"I know she's very professional. She's seen and been through things most agents would retire immediately after…" Her eyes widened slightly.

"She didn't tell me anything… She always tells me everything she goes through." He looked at the ground.

"This one she couldn't. And I agreed with her decision. But now that I know about her father… it's a different story." She looked around before clearing her throat.

"How about we go to the kitchen?" He nodded and followed her down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. She began to dig through the fridge for breakfast so Hotch sat down at the island and watched.

"Those months you contacted me. She wasn't in special training was she?" He shook his head softly.

"No. A while back, we were hunting a serial killer, The Boston Reaper. Have you heard of him?" She nodded.

"He escaped jail after you caught him."

"Yes. His real name is George Foyet. He went into hiding. We were working other cases and I brought your daughter in as one of my agents. Foyet started stalking her for the first couple months…"

"He followed my daughter around?" He saw the same flash of anger in her eyes that he saw in Alex's eyes.

"Yes. Unfortunately none of us knew. Alex mostly kept to herself outside of work."

"What did Foyet do?" he looked up and saw the worry in her eyes.

"He kidnapped her. Held her captive for months." He was surprised when she didn't start crying or get angry. Instead she let out a small noise of shock.

"Oh my… He did that to her didn't he?" He looked down at the table.

"All of it… The baby included."

"Did you catch him?"

"No… He let her go."

"What? He's a serial killer and he let my daughter go? Why?" He looked up and saw her eyes shining with tears.

"Because for the first time in his life, he created life instead of destroying it. It threw him off his guard and changed everything about him." She sat down across from him.

"But he won't hurt her again. Not with the baby." He shrugged.

"It's possible he'll leave her alone. But we're focusing most of our efforts on finding him. He'll make a mistake one day and we'll be there to catch him." She nodded with a determined expression.

"I know you'll get him. And I'll do everything for my daughter to help her through it. But I haven't seen anything unusual. Don't people that have been raped or kidnapped usually show signs of trauma?"

"Ordinarily. But there's nothing ordinary about your daughter." She smiled again.

"You don't hide your feelings well Aaron." He sighed.

"I don't have to. After everything that's happened, it made me realize what I feel."

"You were married weren't you?" He nodded softly.

"My ex-wife couldn't handle my work life. I was never home…"

"Can you two work together if you're in a relationship?" He shook his head.

"No it's against policy… But the team won't want to lose either of us. They may not say anything."

"You're good for her Aaron. I know my daughter well and it fits." Hotch heard Alex coming down the stairs and stood, turning around.

"Oh hello dear. You slept late." Alex walked into the room, glancing at Hotch but looking away quickly.

"Yeah… late night." Hotch shifted when her mother smiled.

"I understand dear. Would you like some tea?" Alex nodded and sat next to Hotch.

"What did you do?" She asked quietly. Hotch looked over.

"Later." He muttered. She nodded softly and took the cup of tea from her mother when it was handed to her.

The second day went as normally as the first, except both Hotch and Alex were dancing around each other to keep from starting or hurting anything. Alex's mother said nothing about it but gave them both looks warning them to stop. They talked, they laughed, but there was a distance now that wasn't there before. Alex knew Hotch told her mother something about what happened to her. She wasn't mad at him, she just wished she had been brave enough to do it herself. Hotch had done so much for her already she was mad at herself for letting him tell her story.

Late at night, after a night out at dinner, Alex sat on the couch with Hotch watching a movie, her mother having gone to bed. With her mother asleep Hotch and Alex seemed to stop caring about policy and what they were doing was wrong. Hotch held Alex against him like he did with Hailey so many years ago. His hand rested on her arm, his thumb running back and forth on her bare skin. Her arm was around his waist, resting on his hip. When the movie ended they didn't move, just sat in the silence listening to the others breathing. Alex felt more at ease in her supervisor's arms than she had ever felt before. It was weird to think when they went back to work, these days would be in the past.

"Hey Hotch," he shifted slightly.

"You can call me Aaron, Alex." She smiled softly.

"Aaron… you told her about Foyet didn't you?" He sighed.

"Yes. My reasoning was because of what you went through with your father. She needs to look for signs that you need help."

"I understand. I just wish I had been strong enough to tell her myself."

"You would have in time. It's still relatively new for you. You're stronger than you think. The others, they've been through some traumatic times. Reid had been captured and tortured once. He turned to drugs. Greenaway killed a man in cold blood. Morgan was off his game for weeks until I had to intervene and get him back in shape. Gideon had to retire because he couldn't handle it anymore. It's a hard business. You're handling it amazingly well." She heard the tone of the last sentence and knew he wanted to know what was really going on.

"Aaron I am struggling. You know me. I'm very good at hiding my true feelings and emotions. Foyet destroyed a part of me… I think about hurting him… killing him. Hurting him like he hurt me… But then I think about the way he treated me and it makes me feel sorry for him. I want to… I don't know… comfort him or something."

"He played a mind game with you. He wanted you to fall in love with him and always defend him. By destroying your emotions, he would destroy you as an agent. You can't let him win. He hurt you, destroyed a part of you that you'll never get back. But you can still come back from it. You have to, to survive. You're about to have his child. If you let him win, you'll have to live with a constant reminder for the rest of your life. You have to beat him." She looked up with a furrowed brow.

"But how? He's already won."

"No he hasn't. He only thinks he has. But he's lost Alex. You have something that he doesn't. A family that will always be there for you. A child who will love you no matter what. He has nothing." He said firmly. Alex felt tears fill her eyes and chuckled softly, pulling back away to wipe her eyes.

"I swear to God, I never cried, even when Foyet was hurting me. Then I get pregnant." He chuckled and pulled her back, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb as he moved closer.

"It's the human side coming back that we forget about." She sniffed and smiled softly.

"Only a profiler could make me cry and smile at the same time." He smiled.

"It's just me. No profiling. That would be working and you are still my subordinate."

"So right now I'm not?" He shook his head and glanced down at her lips.

"You can't be… because this would be wrong." He pressed his lips against hers hard, their eyes closing at the feeling. His tongue slipped into her mouth and she moaned softly, her hand moving up to hold his neck, her fingers splayed through his dark hair. He brought his hand up to her shoulder and held her gently as he explored her mouth.

Hotch was the first to pull away. He rested his forehead against Alex's, his eyes still closed. Alex felt like she never wanted to move away from his touch. Her hand was still on the back of his neck her grip firm, as if she was afraid to let go. Hotch opened his eyes and stared into her cerulean eyes, his brow furrowing.

"I don't know if I can do this…" he muttered softly. She frowned.

"Do what?"

"Stop this when its time. It can't last with our work… It's not allowed." She looked down and pulled away, her hand leaving his neck. He caught it as she pulled it down and held it in his hand.

"We can't Hotch. You're right, this isn't allowed."

"I know how I feel. And you know how you feel. Will this not bleed over into our job?" She nodded softly.

"It would… so I need to transfer out of the BAU." He glared.

"Absolutely not. You're a great profiler. You're a hell of an agent. You'd do great wherever you went but you'll be the best in my unit."

"But I can't go back to normal… The others are better profilers than me. Especially Rossi. He'll know immediately."

"Yes he will." He agreed. Alex looked back up.

"So what do we do?" He stared at her with a furrowed brow, his stern look she had grown to love.

"We worry about it when the time comes."

* * *

><p>Well it's just one kiss... Who knows what else could happen... R&amp;R!<p> 


End file.
